Overcoming Grief and Finding Purpose: Turning Tragedy into Action
I bet we all remember where we were when the planes hit the Twin Towers. That moment when the world seemed to freeze. I also remember when the shooting at Columbine High School happened in 1999—a tragedy that shattered so many lives. But what about the others? The school shootings, the tragedies that have come after? Can you name them? Can you remember what you were doing when you first heard about them?
When the Sandy Hook shooting took place on December 14th, 2012, I was at the airport in Florida, about to fly back to Bolivia with my 12-year-old nephew and 9-year-old niece. They’d been visiting my family over Thanksgiving, and I was their “guardian” on the way home for Christmas. I watched the news at the airport, my stomach dropping as the horror of it all sunk in. My body froze—mouth open, throat tight, eyes welling up—but I quickly turned my attention to the kids, determined to protect them from the devastation unfolding on the screens around us.
It was all I could do in that moment—protect the children.
But since that day, there have been so many shootings at schools, malls, synagogues, churches, and beyond. Too many to count. Too many to remember what I was doing when I heard. Can you recall them? Is your memory as scattered as mine?
That’s a huge problem.
A Growing List of Losses
Here’s a List of JUST the Schools:
From Sandy Hook to the countless others, the list of school shootings alone is staggering. We should be outraged, right? But instead, many of us slip into hopelessness, and worse—apathy. It’s easy to feel like there’s nothing we can do, that the problem is too big.
But don’t let yourself stay stuck there.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés, in her profound wisdom, reminds us:
“In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. […] Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.”
Overcoming grief and finding purpose isn’t about solving every problem in the world all at once. It’s about reaching for the part we can heal, the action we can take. And in the face of heartbreak and tragedy, action is what wakes us up.
What can you do?
Suggested Actions:
If you feel heartbroken, overwhelmed, or stuck in grief, remember that action is the antidote. Here are a few ways to start mending the world within your reach:
- Call Your Representatives
Demand that they act on gun reform laws. It’s easy to feel helpless, but calling your local senators and representatives is a small yet powerful action. Here’s how you can contact them: - Support Organizations that Are Making a Difference
Glennon Doyle’s Together Rising is one of the many organizations that turn heartbreak into action. They are raising funds to provide immediate support for families and to push for long-term solutions. Check out what they’re doing and consider donating or getting involved. - Take Care of Yourself
In times of grief, we often forget the importance of self-care. Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary. It’s how we stay grounded and able to act.
Healing Through Action
Feeling triggered or stuck? That’s normal. After trauma, many of us carry wounds that may not always be visible but are deeply felt. Did you know that 70% of the world’s population experiences psychological trauma at some point? And over 60% of adults in the U.S. have experienced an adverse childhood experience (ACE)? It’s no wonder that overcoming grief and finding purpose feels impossible at times.
But here’s the truth: you don’t have to navigate this alone.
It’s Time to Act
The key to overcoming grief and finding purpose is action. Even small steps make a difference, and the world needs your light. Don’t let the weight of despair freeze you.
Prayers for the Brokenhearted
And finally, if you are heart broken, here are two prayers from Mirabai Starr’s wonderful book of prayers: Mother of God Similar to Fire.
I find this prayer to be comforting:
