When we talk about transformation, we rarely acknowledge how deeply it reshapes us.
Even during pregnancy, we focus on the physical changes—the expanding belly, the shifting weight.
But the transformation runs far deeper. Pregnancy rewires the brain, reshapes identity, and even leaves behind literal, cellular traces in the body forever.
What if we recognized that change isn’t just logistical—it’s biological, psychological, and deeply personal? That even the most chosen reinvention rattles the very foundation of who we thought we were?
Because here’s the thing: Change isn’t just about what’s next. It’s about what’s falling away.
The Five Pillars of Identity—And What Happens When They Collapse
Who we are is built on layers—some visible, some hidden.
Five core pillars shape our sense of self:
What we do (our roles and work).
Who we belong to (relationships and community).
What we understand (knowledge and confidence in how the world works).
How much control we have (our ability to shape our lives).
What gives life meaning (our belief systems—the thing that holds it all together).
When one of these shifts, we wobble. When they all collapse at once? We come undone.
When Everything Falls Apart at Once
In one calendar year, I lost every foundational piece of who I thought myself to be.
I was fired from the company I had grown up in—not because of performance, but because I stood up to a toxic boss.
All of my close friends were immersed in the early years of motherhood—while I was still single.
I was in grad school, drowning in the “conscious incompetence” phase of learning, no longer confident in what I knew.
And then—the earthquake I never saw coming—my large, tightly woven family fractured in a way that left deep cracks we still feel 18 years later.
If my job was my stability, my family was my gravity. We weren’t just close—we were woven together, each of us anchoring the others, for better or worse. Family wasn’t just a part of life; it was the bedrock of who I knew myself to be in the world. And then, suddenly, the foundation split.
So there I was, untethered. No job. No clear path. No steady relationships. No certainty about who I was becoming.
I’d faced big transitions before. I’d reinvented myself, changed careers, weathered breakups, and found my way back to solid ground.
But never all at once. Never like this.
This time, I had no job. No clear path. No steady relationships. No certainty about who I was becoming.
But I still had one thing left to trust.
When everything else in my life felt uncertain, I had nature.
It was my constant, my quiet refuge. I grew up listening to the rhythm of waves, tracing the seasons like a second heartbeat. If nothing else, I could trust this: Nature had a rhythm. It had a wisdom. It made sense.
So, in the middle of my unraveling, I did the only thing that had ever made me feel steady: I turned on a nature documentary.
“Ahhh. At least Nature still has my back. So soothing.”
I settled in, watching a mama horse nuzzle her baby. See? Beautiful. Predictable. Comforting.
And then—a stallion came racing over and kicked the baby horse to death.
I shot up, turned off the TV, and shook my fist at the sky.
“Even caterpillars get a stick!!”
The Myth of the Smooth Transition
The caterpillar goes into the chrysalis thinking it knows itself. It is a fuzzy little land creature, it munches leaves, it has a plan.
Then one day, everything inside of it turns to goo.
No legs. No body. Just a primordial soup of cells trying to remember what comes next. And here’s the kicker: even in its most melted-down, what-the-actual-hell-is-happening-to-me moment, the caterpillar still gets a stick. A tiny branch to hang from while it un-becomes itself.
Humans? We don’t get that.
Or at least, we don’t think we do—because modern culture treats transition like a self-improvement project instead of an existential reckoning.
Right now, we treat major life changes as isolated, intellectual events. We plan for them, but we don’t prepare for them. We expect people to just “figure it out.”
Leaders are given new roles but not the space to integrate their evolving identity.
Activists burn themselves out because our culture treats urgency as more valuable than sustainability.
We are given barely a moment to grieve before we’re expected to move on—before the loss even finishes echoing in our bones.
People walk away from entire versions of their lives—careers, relationships, belief systems, communities—and are told to “just be grateful” instead of being supported through the grief that naturally comes with it. (And to be clear: I don’t mean death or reincarnation—I mean the profound identity shifts that come with major life transitions, the kind that feel like leaving one version of yourself behind to become another.)
We don’t talk about how reinvention feels like losing your native language. We don’t acknowledge that you can want something deeply and still mourn what it’s replacing.
And so, instead of creating systems of care for transformation, we push through it alone—convincing ourselves that struggle is just part of the deal.
What If We Did It Differently?
What if we approached leadership growth, activism, and personal reinvention the way we approach matrescence?
What if we gave people sticks while they melted into something new?
What would change if we:
Treated career shifts like identity shifts, offering actual support instead of assuming competence will carry people through?
Built activism structures that sustained people beyond crisis moments?
Created rituals around transitions—so people felt witnessed, not just expected to adapt?
Because the truth is, transformation doesn’t work on a corporate timeline. It’s a Wildwoven process—seasonal, cyclical, deeply personal.
And here’s where I come in.
My work is about guiding people through these wild, uncharted shifts. Helping them navigate the messy middle and emerge on the other side, not just changed, but rooted in who they were meant to become.
If you’re in a season of reinvention—whether in leadership, activism, or your personal life—you don’t have to figure it out alone.
🌿 Navigating a Major Life Transition? Find Out Where You Are in the Cycle.
“Transformation doesn’t happen on a corporate timeline. It follows seasons, cycles, and deep internal shifts. If you’re in the middle of a big change—career shifts, leadership growth, activism, or reinvention—you don’t have to navigate it blindly.”
Think of it as a compass for your comeback. The assessment helps place you in the season of transformation you’re in—so you can stop fighting where you are and start workingwiththe natural rhythm of change.
🔹 What happens next?
You’ll receive a guide packed with a blend of science-backed, soul-centered strategies designed to fit the natural rhythm every transformation follows.
Who it’s for:Women navigatingidentity-shaking transitions. Whether you’re shedding an old version of yourself, deep in the unknown, stepping into something new…or figuring out how to speak your truth inside the chaos of these times.
The Messy Middle: Where the Magick of Transformation Happens
Have you ever set off on an adventure, sure of where you were headed—only to have everything shift in ways you never saw coming?
I get it.
The Magick You Can’t Plan For
I stood enchanted on the ruins of PhuyupatamarcaI –ancient ruins along the Inca Trail in Peru.
It was late, and the sky was impossibly clear. The kind of clear you only get when you’re high in the mountains—8,900 feet high, to be exact—and miles away from the nearest village.
The moon hung low over the ruins, washing the ancient stones in silver light. Mist curled over the terraces, rising from the valley below like veils of time, sliding between the stones, caressing the landscape with ethereal fingers.
Above me, the stars were so bright—so thick—that it felt like I could reach up and drink them in.
I stood there, surrounded by the echoes of a civilization long gone, feeling small in the best possible way.
The air was alive with a stillness so deep it hummed in my bones.
Even the voices of my fellow trekkers faded away to nothing, like magick.
Standing there, wrapped in that stillness, I felt like I’d stepped out of time, like I was part of something vast and unseen.
Or in a scene from The Lord of the Rings.
It felt sacred.
My whole body hummed. I felt connected to the stars!
It was the third night of my five-day trek along the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, the bucket-list wonder beloved by people around the world. I could hardly wait to stand amidst the ruins of Machu Picchu itself.
I expected to feel even more of a sacred connection there, to sense the souls of all the pilgrims who had sought the wisdom of the ancients since the Incas fashioned the citadel in the 15th Century.
When Expectations Meet Reality
Instead? Machu Picchu was beautiful.
But in comparison, it felt like a tourist destination. Even though we were allowed in before the throngs of people arrived by train, there were already hundreds of visitors milling about, cameras clicking, voices echoing against the stones.
I kept waiting for that same feeling to hit me—that deep, wordless connection.
But it never did.
And while standing on its terraces makes for great bragging rights, when I look back on that trek, it isn’t Machu Picchu that sends a thrill through my bones.
It’s Phuyupatamarca that I remember with wonder.
That night, wrapped in silver light and silence, stays with me.
When the Journey Surprises You
Isn’t it funny how we set our sights on something—convinced that’s the thing we want—only to get there and realize it was never about the destination at all?
👉 Maybe that’s where you are right now. You thought you knew what your life was supposed to look like—who you were supposed to be—but everything has shifted. Now, the path ahead feels uncertain, like you’re wandering through the mist, waiting for clarity that never quite arrives.
👉 Maybe you feel paralyzed, exhausted, unsure of what step to take next. Or maybe you’ve spent so long trying to be who others expect you to be that you don’t even know what you want anymore.
👉 And I know—it’s tempting to want the answers now. To just skip ahead to the part where it all makes sense.
👉 But what if the magick is already unfolding? Right here. In this in-between space. Even if you can’t see it yet.
We think it’s about reaching the summit, crossing the finish line, arriving at the dream job, the perfect relationship, the life-changing moment.
But more often, it’s about something else entirely.
A feeling we didn’t expect.
A moment we couldn’t have planned.
A serendipitous turn that leads us somewhere even better.
And we only see it looking back—the way the journey itself was quietly reshaping us, showing us what we really wanted all along.
When You’re in the Messy Middle
For the women I work with, this desire for clarity often comes in the messy middle. When everything feels uncertain. When the life they thought they wanted has crumbled, or when they’re stuck in a fog of doubt, exhaustion, and self-questioning.
It’s easy to think, If I could just get there—if I could just feel confident again, if I could just know for sure what’s next—then I’d be okay.
But what if the magick is unfolding right now?
In the moments you can’t yet see as turning points? In the unexpected whispers of intuition, the tiny sparks of curiosity, the glimpses of wonder that catch you off guard?
What’s Been Your Phuyupatamarca Moment?
What’s been your Phuyupatamarca moment?
The time when the real magick wasn’t in the THING you thought you wanted, but in the moments of wonder and synchronicity along the way?
Tell me in the comments—I’d love to hear your story.
Ready to Invite More Magick into Your Journey?
Try this:
Step outside, place your hand on your heart, and ask: What unexpected magick is unfolding for me right now?
Stay open for a sign. 🌿
👉 Reminder: You don’t need all the answers. Just take the next step. Breathe. Trust that the path is unfolding—even in the uncertainty.
And if you need a little extra support along the way, I’m here for you.
Have you ever felt like life pulled the rug out from under you, leaving you unsure of who you are or where to go next? Perhaps you’ve experienced heartbreak, faced a health crisis, navigated a major life transition, or found yourself questioning your identity after years of following the “rules.” If this resonates, you’re not alone—and transformation coaching might be exactly what you need.
What Is Transformation Coaching?
Transformation coaching is a holistic approach to personal growth that supports you during times of deep change. It’s not just about setting goals or creating action plans (though we’ll do that too). It’s about helping you reconnect with your true self, heal emotional wounds, and create a life aligned with your values and desires.
Unlike therapy, which often focuses on past trauma, or traditional life coaching, which emphasizes external achievements, transformation coaching addresses the emotional and energetic shifts needed to navigate identity-shaking transitions. It’s about empowering you to step into the most authentic version of yourself.
Common Challenges Women Face
Life’s challenges have a way of leaving us feeling stuck, lost, or unsure of who we are. Women often come to transformation coaching because they’re experiencing:
Shame or self-doubt after a major life event like infidelity, divorce, or a health diagnosis.
Loss of identity after becoming a mother, ending a long-term relationship, or experiencing a career change.
Emotional overwhelm from juggling the demands of single motherhood, caregiving, or personal healing.
A longing for more meaning, purpose, and fulfillment but not knowing where to start.
How I Help You Rediscover Your Magick
As a Transformation Coach, I specialize in guiding women through these identity-shaking changes to help them ditch shame, reclaim their unique magick, and cultivate deep self-love. My approach blends decades of leadership experience with powerful tools like:
Neuroscience-backed techniques: Rewire limiting beliefs and create lasting, positive change.
Shamanic healing practices: Release emotional blocks, tap into your intuition, and find inner peace.
Expressive arts and journaling: Explore your emotions and rediscover your creativity as a path to healing.
Nature rituals: Reconnect with the natural world to ground yourself and find clarity.
This work isn’t about “fixing” you. It’s about helping you remember your inherent worth and guiding you back to a place of self-love and steadfast confidence.
Real Stories of Transformation
One client, a single mother navigating several big changes in her life, came to me because she was stressed and overwhelmed with all the choices facing her. Through our work together, she learned to set healthy boundaries, make positive choices for herself and her son, and build a life that felt meaningful and joyful. Today, she’s got her own business, and feels more empowered than ever before.
Another client, recovering from infidelity, worked with me to heal her heartbreak and rebuild her confidence. By the end of our time together, she had not only found peace but had also uncovered a deeper sense of self-worth and resilience.
Is Transformation Coaching Right for You?
If you’re:
Tired of feeling stuck or overwhelmed,
Ready to heal from shame and self-doubt,
Longing to rediscover your purpose and passions, or
Craving a life that feels deeply aligned with your true self…
Then transformation coaching could be the catalyst you need. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
Take the First Step
Are you ready to ditch the shame, reclaim your power, and love yourself clear down to your bones?
Let’s talk. I invite you to schedule a free discovery call to explore how transformation coaching can support you on your journey.
Reflections on a Challenging Year: Finding Meaning Beyond the Struggle
I scoffed at the student motivational speaker at my nephew’s graduation.
Her speech was uplifting—full of big dreams and bold declarations about how she and her classmates were going to change the world. Normally, speeches like this get me teary-eyed, filling me with HOPE that the next generation might actually save us.
The weight of grief clouded any sense of hope, and I couldn’t see past the pain to recognize the potential for growth.
“Yeah right,” I muttered internally. “Just wait thirty years. Half of you will be in active addiction, and the other half will be sucked right into the greedy capitalist dream.”
Navigating grief is a challenging journey. In the midst of our loss, my partner and I struggled, neither of us able to face clients, let alone ‘market’ our businesses.
These weren’t our best moments. Justin spent his days deep in online political debates, while I spent the first half of the year binge-watching Marvel shows. I wanted to BE Jessica Jones—her brand of sarcasm and self-deprecation hit me right in the feels.
The Turning Point
A few weeks later, still horrified at my jaded thoughts during that graduation, I decided my depression had gone on long enough. So I did what I always do when I feel stuck—I researched my way out.
I found an online course that promised inspiration, and one of the first activities was to reflect and harvest my year.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need to do this. I already know—my year SUCKED.”
Still, I answered the first question: “Did you have a vision for the year?”
YES! I had big plans to grow my business, but then Josh WAS KILLED IN A F-ING CRAB ACCIDENT WHILE HELPING SOME ARROGANT CAPTAIN WHO THOUGHT HE WAS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.
I moved to the next question: “What occurred, evolved, or happened since you set this intention? How would you describe your results?”
The anger bubbled up again. SAME ANSWER. “DITTO,” I scrawled, jabbing my pen hard enough to rip the page.
But then came another set of questions: “What were the highlights of your year? What are you most proud of? What had the most positive impact on you and/or others?”
At first, this stumped me. The bitterness and disappointment I’d been clinging to blocked access to any positive memories. But then I remembered something small yet meaningful—
In the spring, I got to drive my niece to her club volleyball practice two hours away every week. Since she’s a teen, those alone moments are rare. But every single time, she’d say, “This was fun, Auntie Kristin. We should hang out more often.”
That memory softened something inside me. I moved on to the rest of the questions, slowly re-evaluating my year—not through the capitalistic lens of productivity and success, but from a human perspective.
Redefining Growth & Success
Looking back, this shift—choosing to move through my jaded year and see what else was there—became a pivotal moment of growth for me.
One of the reasons I was so jaded was because I was filled with self-loathing. I couldn’t “fix” Josh’s wife’s grief, or Justin’s, or even my own. But leaning into my pain and feelings of failure ultimately made me a better practitioner.
It forced me to learn that it’s not my job to fix.
It’s my job to hold sacred space.
To BE there.
To allow what is.
“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. … However, we are, in fact, in the process of change…”
Those long periods—when something inside us seems to be clawing its way out of our skin… when we’re frozen with uncertainty about our next step… when we feel completely untethered… when we’re angry at the world because deep down, we’re grieving something big—
Personal growth is challenging enough without the added weight of grief and loss. And when we measure success the way the world expects us to—by external achievements, productivity, and met goals—it can leave us feeling like we’ve failed.
But what if there was another way?
I created a guide called Measure Your Year—a reflection tool designed to help you assess your growth through a lens of self-compassion and personal transformation, rather than capitalist productivity.
If you’re looking for a new way to measure your year—one that honors your inner journey as much as your external accomplishments—download Measure Your Year Guide + Bonus Meditation and start your reflection today.
Because even the hardest years have lessons worth harvesting. And you deserve to recognize just how far you’ve come.
I used to be certain I wasn’t a perfectionist. But a deep dive into my own shadows over the past couple of years revealed some surprising truths.
Here’s why I didn’t think I had perfectionist tendencies:
I can be a chronic procrastinator.
I often hit “post” or deliver assignments before triple-checking every word.
I shy away from competing with other women, especially outside of sports.
I love trying new activities without worrying about failing.
I’m definitely not a Type-A, hyper-achiever.
So, with all these “non-perfectionist” behaviors, how could I be one?
But when I really dug into the reasons behind these behaviors, I found they were driven by perfectionism in ways I hadn’t even realized.
Why Perfectionism Drove My Procrastination and Avoidance
Procrastination? It wasn’t about being lazy; I was just trying to avoid putting something out there that wasn’t “good enough.” By waiting until the last minute, I gave myself an excuse for any imperfections.
Avoiding Competition? It wasn’t about being scared of other women; I was afraid of losing—and the story I would tell myself about it if I did.
Taking on Challenges? The bigger, the better! I set unrealistic goals so I could “fail” without anyone expecting success—and that gave me the perfect out.
But that’s not freedom. That’s perfectionism dressed as procrastination, avoidance, and self-sabotage.
The Myth of Perfection
Perfectionism often wears many faces.
It sounds like:
“I must perform flawlessly in all areas of my life while making it look easy.”
Or, “I must make sure I have a really good excuse for not performing at a high level.”
It looks like:
A tendency to demand perfection from ourselves (and others) instead of embracing mistakes and imperfection.
Or, the self-sabotage of avoiding competition or massive goals so there’s no pressure for perfection.
Its main strategy for approval?
To be the best at everything. Or to avoid trying, just to protect yourself from failure.
But either way, perfectionism robs you of your creative confidence, vulnerability, and authenticity—and leaves your nervous system in a state of imbalance.
Does any of this resonate with you? When you evaluate your own behaviors, look at the WHY behind them. Are you protecting yourself from failure? Or are you trying to prove something?
Is There a Healthy Level of Perfectionism?
You might be thinking, “Kristin, surely there’s a healthy level of perfectionism. How else do you explain all those Type-A people who are so successful?”
Well, here’s the truth: there is no such thing as “perfect” when it comes to human beings. Perfectionism will only leave you stuck in feelings of failure, no matter how much you achieve.
And those so-called “successful” perfectionists? Underneath all the achievements, they tend to stress more, feel more anxiety, and struggle to bounce back from setbacks. Success without perfectionism is far more liberating.
How to Balance Your Perfectionist Tendencies
It’s healthy to strive for your best, but it’s important to shift your mindset away from perfection.
Instead of striving for flawlessness, set high—but achievable—standards. This will give you a sense of satisfaction and increase your self-esteem without pushing you to the brink of burnout.
Awareness is the first step to breaking the habit of perfectionism. Then, look at your thought distortions—those habitual patterns of thinking that tend to be inaccurate or overly critical. Common distortions for perfectionists include:
Discounting the positive (e.g., focusing on a mistake and ignoring the positive feedback you received).
Black-and-white thinking (e.g., thinking eating one cookie ruins your entire diet).
“Must-erbation” (living by unrealistic, impossible demands).
Combatting Perfectionism: A Simple Action
Choose one of these distortions that applies to you, and keep a log for a week. When you catch the thought, thank it for its wisdom, but then choose to shift the narrative. For example, if someone compliments your speech, acknowledge the flaw, but also accept the compliment. Your speech may not have been flawless, but you received positive feedback for a reason.
Embrace Progress, Not Perfection
If you’re ready to embrace change and ditch the perfectionism that’s holding you back, I’ve got something for you: my Soul Care Checklist. This free resource is packed with actionable steps that will help you get unstuck, reconnect with yourself, and practice simple rituals that nourish your soul.
You deserve to be fully YOU—without all the perfectionism weighing you down.
The Birth of Practical-Magick: A Journey from Chaos to Clarity
I’m going to come straight out and say it: my life has been intense over the past several years. But then, transformation often is.
Between December 2016 and January 2019, my partner and I lost six loved ones. In the midst of that, we were forced to change homes and chose to move into his family’s ancestral Finnish-style log home. It’s lovely—but also old and in constant need of care and repair.
We’re both self-employed, and when you’re navigating profound loss and upheaval, it’s hard to find the energy to bring in clients. Financial stress followed. And this was all BEFORE 2020 turned the world upside down.
Transforming Comparison Judgment
Like so many women, I often fall into “comparison worthiness,” telling myself I shouldn’t complain because others have it worse. And sure, that’s true. But as a wise friend once posted:
“We can be grateful for what we have AND feel depressed. We can hold compassion for someone in a darker space AND feel anguish in our own space. We can recognize our luck AND cry for five hours at our misfortune. We can feel all the feelings AND be a better human for it.”
—Becca
But instead of offering myself that grace, I tortured myself with “comparison judgment.” I watched other practitioners “making it” by following the latest guru-approved marketing trend—“Fill Your Retreats,” “Pack the Room,” “Sell Your Beta Course.” I tried them all (well, most). And none of them worked for me. My business barely grew, leaving me feeling like a failure at entrepreneurship.
And it wasn’t just my business. I wasn’t following through on promises to myself. I let go of daily creative practices. I spent less time in the lake, with family, reading, moving my body. It all started slipping away.
The Gift of an Injured Shoulder
Then came the unexpected gift—an injured shoulder, pandemic unemployment, and a financial cushion that gave me permission to pause. To heal. Physically, yes. But also emotionally. Spiritually.
Who knew that a car accident leading to surgery and a long recovery would be the catharsis I needed?
ca·thar·sis /kəˈTHärsəs/ noun “the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.”
I didn’t. Not at first. I was frustrated. I wasn’t healing as fast as expected. I had to take more time off work than I “should.” My business languished.
And yet… I continued physical therapy. Somatic therapy. Created beautiful spaces in my garden. Swam. Laughed. Cried. Restored my family’s rental cabin. Spent time with my partner. My friends. Myself.
And I hired a marketing coach who let me move at my own, slow pace.
Rooting In and Growing
My goal became simple: root into my business. Really understand what I do. So, I wrote about it. Every single morning. Journaling through frustration, through repetition, through slow, unfolding clarity.
Who is my client? What do I DO? What is my thought leadership? My philosophy? What makes me different? Unique?
What I came to realize was that over those long, stressful years, I had grown.
I’m no longer afraid of the shadows. I can stand with my clients in their darkest moments without feeling the need to rush them back into the light. I can hold duality better. I no longer feel like I have to be perfect, or that my whole life needs to look like an Instagram highlight reel.
I realized that my greatest gift is… me.
My history. My eclectic experiences. My energy. My humor. My way of weaving science and story, physiology and myth, structured tools and sacred mystery. Anyone can teach these things, but no one else can do it quite like I do.
Learning from the Trees
Over time, as the seasons turned and the leaves fell, my business evolved too:
What I DO is hold sacred space for women to fully live their messy, beautifully sacred lives. To be imperfect AND radiant at the same time. To slow down. To ponder. To love. To root into themselves. To make room for mystery. To stop rushing toward an endless finish line.
I offer them a sanctuary where they can be seen, heard, and loved—exactly as they are.
The Birth of Practical-Magick
And who I AM is an Intuitive Soul Guide. A Sacred Depths Practitioner. A Transformational Coach.
I study human physiology, the neurobiology of emotions, the psychobiology of women. But I also immerse myself in myths, archetypes, and mystery. Mother Earth is my second mother. Creative practices—art, writing, movement—are my medicine.
THIS. This is what I do. And what makes it Magick… is me.
I’ve always called what I do “Practical-Magick.”
And so, this new/old business is birthed in darkness, ready to walk with others through both shadow and light.
Who it’s for: Women navigating identity-shaking transitions. Whether you’re shedding an old version of yourself, deep in the unknown, stepping into something new… or figuring out how to speak your truth inside the chaos of these times. 
